You asked me about an hour ago what our objective was going to be for writing this blog. I am not sure I have a direct or clear answer...more like a basket filled with ideas. Who knows if anyone will ever read this, and to be quite honest I am perfectly satisfied if we are the only ones who ever lay eyes on our "ButsonBeat." In the last few months I've taken a back seat to my very own spiritual life. I suppose that I was thinking that maybe I deserve a break or I would amazingly pray without any effort or thought. I've just been flat out lazy. Not only has it affected my attitude and outlook on life, but it has affected our relationship with each other and my actions have not been an encouragement to you and your spiritual walk. And for that, I am deeply sorry. My calloused and cold heart pains my soul in the deepest parts of who I am. My heart isn't where it should be and my head follows suit. You are always so spot-on when you talk about taking the focus off of ourselves and putting it solely on God. After we do that, everything else seems so minor and unimportant. The daily grind of work, the drama of society, negativity, and stress... they don't disappear. We are just so focused on God and His big picture that those annoyances no longer bother us. We rest assured in the fact that He is in control and He has amazing plans for our lives. So this blog for me is a chance to document our lives, kind of like a dear diary, as girly and childish as it sounds. It is also a chance to be super transparent and vulnerable, ridiculous and hilarious, sweet and romantic... you fill in the blank. It can also serve as a sounding board for our dreams, plans, and ideas; a daily dose of what's going on in our hearts; a place to ask and answer thought provoking questions, etc.
I want so desperately to desire God with all that I have. I would love to feel Him near and know that my prayers aren't bouncing off the ceiling like they seem to be doing lately. This is just a chapter and a test and hopefully I will pass this one and not have to re-take it....I think I would title this chapter "Remaining Faithful Even When I Don't Feel Like It." So here is to Chapter 1 of our blog life ;) My prayer is that it brings us closer to Him and closer to each other.
You are my love and the best decision I ever made. I can't imagine life without you and I do, honestly, thank the Father everyday for you.
B
P.S.
My writing "flow" is a reflection of an individual with ADD... just saying ;)
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